"Click, click, whoop, lip, click"
"A sweet tooth? Not much you can do about it, we don't have an candy" I say.
Winter Hawk grins, wide eyed as he claps excitedly. "Click, click, cheek flip, click, whistle!"
"Honey? like bee honey? Oh no, we aren't going through this again!" I exclaim.
"Hmm. Winter Hawk have good idea." says Crazy Elk as he sits in the corner sharpening his knife blade, looking at it while speaks. "Research show evidence of honey medical benefits. Benefits not stop at satisfying palate...Honey incredible antiseptic, antioxidant and cleansing properties for body, health, beauty and skin care, and amazing healing properties, have head-to-toe remedy, from eye conjunctivitis to athlete foot. It boosts powerful healing used thousands of years and help healing for cuts, cure ailments, disease, and correct health disorders. Makura honey not only fight infection and aid healing but also reduce inflammation and scarring. It often used for digestive problems like diarrhea, indigestion, stomach ulcers and gastroenteritis."
We both just stare at Crazy Elk now in silent shock.
"What?" He says looking up with a shrug. "Me Air Force Airman. Me learn this"
We just continue to stare for a few moments longer. Finally I speak up. "I'm not going to look for honey. No Sir! You two want to go find it, knock yourselves out, I'm staying right here!" I lay down on the furs and curl up. "Nope. not happening"
"Whistle, click, click" says Winter Hawk. "Me thought bears liked honey, too. Big Bear just scared of bees" chimes in Crazy Elk. I sit up now, irritated. "No, I am not scared of bees, I am respectful of bees and I intend to keep it that way!"
"Click, long whistle, click"
"Yep. Him scaredy Bear"
"Now look!" I say, standing up and pointing at both of them. "Every time we have went out to do something, I have been bitten, clawed, scratched, drenched, nearly drowned, pushed, thrown, flipped, rolled, dropped and stomped! You two, on the other hand, have walked away unscathed, completely untouched! Look at this, look!" I point to my head "My ear is crooked on me head!!! My nose is sideways, my eyes have been continually blackened, I have stitches across my head and in at least a half dozen places on my body!!! What will it take to satisfy your desire to finally kill me?!?! WHAT?!?!" I scream.
They both look at me now, saying nothing, then they look at each other.
"Click, whistle" says Winter Hawk smiling again.
"Yep. We go get honey" says Crazy Elk.
"Fine! You go! Go! And this time, you two can suffer the after effects yourselves! I am staying...Right...Here!!!"
"Okay, Fraidy bear, you not have to go."
Winter Hawk kneels down be side me a draws a long sigh, placing his hand on my shoulder and patting me lightly. "Whistle, click, click, whistle, click"
"Oh yeah? Well, you don't have to feel sorry for me, Winter Hawk!"
He shakes his head, looking down at me sadly now.
"It fine. Him stay here, watch out for Badger. Found tracks last night around camp" says Crazy Elk gathering his things.
"Wha..? Wait...What tracks?"
As we walk through the forest, we hear the birds singing. A sign of spring coming I thought to myself. Apparently, Winter Hawk was thinking it to, as he stopped in the middle of the trail and looked up. "Click, click, lip pop, click"
"Eggs? Are you serious right now?"
He turns and looks at me now. "Click...click...lip pop...click"
"Him serious right now" adds Crazy Elk.
Winter Hawk starts peeling off the furs and looking up in the trees to find a nest. He points and claps wildly, then points again, laughing like a crazy man as he grabs the tree trunk and starts to climb. I shake my head as I watch him shimmy up the tree like a spider monkey. "Him climb good" says Crazy Elk. I have to agree. He looked like a minature Tarzan going from limb to limb and branch to branch.
Finally he arrives at the birds nest and looks inside. "Whistle, click, click!" he yells down. Crazy Elk raises an eyebrow. "Catch eggs? Down here? Him nuts!!!" I must have have been tuned into some other thought for a moment, because I only caught the "Him nuts" part, and as I turn to look at Crazy Elk to see what he was talking about, the egg hits me in the head. I close my eyes, realizing at that point just what he had said moments ago. I open my eyes slowly as the egg oozes down my head and into my face. Crazy Elk just stares at me, mouth open, wide eyed. Angry now, I start to speak as the second egg hits me and I feel the egg instantly shatter on my cranium. I look up, yelling, "STOP THROWING THE FREA...!!!" This time in the forehead. I just stop and look back at Crazy Elk who still has the goofy look as egg slides down my face now.
Winter Hawk came down the tree almost as fast as he went up. Smacking his hands together to get the loose bark and debris off, he starts over to where we are with a wide grin on his face and then stops walking when he looks up and sees me, the smile fading quickly, not unlike the way Crazy Elk has been staring at me this whole time. I stare back and he finally speaks, "Lip pop, click, click, whistle click?"
That was the last straw. As I rush forward, grabbing him around the neck and started choking him, shaking him hard as he flails around wildly, he lets out a scream of terror. I am yelling now. "WHY DIDN'T I CATCH THE EGSS?!?! I CAUGHT THE EGGS!!! I CAUGHT ALL THE EGGS!!!" Crazy Elk Is now pulling at me as Winter Hawk screams more, sounding like a cat who's tail is caught in a blender. Yeah, i had pretty much lost it.
I did not see Crazy Elk grab the tree limb from the ground, Nor did I hear the swishing sound as it cut through the air only to make contact with my head. I felt the thud, and heard the crack, as the limb snapped in half. I let go of Winter Hawk and grab my head, eyes clenched shut in pain now. "OWWWWWW!!!!" Crazy Elk drops the broken limb on the ground as I look back at him with one eye open now, even angrier than before. I start for him, and the look of panic crosses his face. He screams louder than Winter Hawk had been a few seconds before. the scream, sounding identical to a terrified woman echoes through the forest as he turns to run. "WHACK!" I felt the hit and then I hit the ground. Dazed, I roll over on my back and look up, as I float in and out of darkness. I see both guilty parties creep up cautiously and look down at me.
"Click, click, click, whistle, lip smack, click whistle" Winter Hawk states, shaking his head slowly.
"Yep. Him lose it. Him had too much. Pretty sure him crazy now" says Crazy Elk.
"Long whistle, click!"
"Might be good idea. Him off rocker right now"
I start to raise my hand in protest, try to say the word "No". I can hear the word in my mind, but it never makes it to my mouth in time. "WHACK!" The third blow clinches the deal and off I go to dream land.
I wake up, hearing the fire crackling. I try to sit up, but feel the pounding in my head now, and then realize I can't move my head. I feel with both hands slowly. A piece of tree bark has been tied around my neck in a makeshift neck brace. I must have moaned, because the flap of the Tee-Pee flies open and Crazy Elk looks inside. "Him awake!" I clinch my eyes closed as his yell rolls through my head like thunder, causing even more pain. "Don't yell" I whisper in a raspy voice. Winter Hawk's head pops through the entrance now and he smiles, giving a thumbs up. I moan again.
"We thought you lost mind. Had to drag you back. We not mean to hit you so hard". explains Crazy Elk as Winter Hawk shakes his head in agreement, an unconvincing sad look on his face. "Can I have something to drink?" I ask through parched lips. Winter Hawk starts clapping and runs outside the flap. A moment later, he returns with some sort of herbal tea mixture, bends down and gives me a sip. It was actually good, sweet even. I look at him. "Sweet?" I ask puzzled. He sits the cup down and claps excitedly again. "Him make with honey." says Crazy Elk. I look at them now. "Where did you find the honey?"
Winter Hawk jumps up and runs outside again. When he returns, he has a bee hive hanging from a stick and pushes it through the flap so I can see it. I can hear the buzzing loudly now. "No! NO! You need to..." And almost with perfect timing, the hive falls off the stick, hitting the ground and bursting open.
"Ohhh Snap!" "Ohhh Click!" both said at the same time.
I look up to see Crazy Elk and Winter Hawk glance at each other in surprise, jump up and run, pulling the flap closed from outside. "Wait..WAIT!!!" I scream after them.
The buzzing now at a fevered pitch as I lay there...Alone...Except for the bees, knowing bad had just gone to worse. What does one say at a time like this?
"Oh no..." Was all I could muster.