Thanksgiving Day in the wilderness. We sit around the campfire now, Winter Hawk and Crazy Elk actually not trying to figure out a new way to kill me today.
"So" I ask, "What are you two thankful for?"
They sit and think about it a few moments, then Winter Hawk's eyes grow wide as he claps wildly. "Click, click, whistle, lip pop, click!"
Crazy Elk looks at him now. "You can't be thankful for Great Turkey coming!"
"Click, whistle, click!"
"No, that dumb! There no Great Turkey!"
Winter Hawk narrows his eyes as he points at Crazy Elk now. "...Click...Whistle...Click..."
*There no Great Turkey. Him not bring gifts. Him not real!"
Winter Hawk whoops loudly as he jumps up and leaps across the fire onto Crazy Elk. They fall back and the punching, kicking, biting, scratching and hair pulling begins. I roll my eyes and sigh as they duke it out. After a few minutes I have had enough.
"STOP!" Get to your sides of the fire! This is Thanksgiving, we aren't going to be fighting!"
"Click, click, lip pop, whistle" mumbles Winter Hawk.
"No, that isn't what I think, that is what I know!"
"Why he so crazy, Big Bear? You hit him in head when little?" he asks, dusting himself off.
"Shut it, Crazy Elk. Just sit there and be quiet"
"No one asked you, Winter Hawk!" I shout.
As they settle back and the quiet returns, I continue. "Okay, today is Thanksgiving, and time to remember what is important. Our Pilgrim Fathers came to this land to escape religious persecution. To make a new start, a new life. Their first winter was horrible. Their provisions had ran low, a number of them were sick or already dead and the winter was much harsher than they had ever planned for. The Indians of the area saw the plight of those Pilgrims, and because of them and their aid, the Pilgrims where able to survive that first winter. The Indians taught them about the land. How to plant, how to harvest, how to hunt, how to do many things on their own. Together, in having survived the first year, they celebrated and gave thanks to God for his protection and his goodness. Now, that is the story of Thanksgiving. So, again, what are you two thankful for?"
Silence and dumbfounded looks. Then Winter Hawk shakes his head.
"Click, click, whistle, lip pop, click..."
Crazy Elk draws a long breath. "What I say already? There no Great Turkey"
"CLICK CLICK!!!" yells Winter Hawk.
"Okay, Winter Hawk. you so smart, you tell story of Thanksgiving"
Winter Hawk stands now, clearing his throat and begins. He Launches into a series of clicks, pops and whistles as he acts out the scenes he is describing. I will save you the clicks and whistles and interpret the story for you here.
In the words of Winter Hawk, This is the First Thanksgiving and The Great Turkey.
...." Many many years ago, the Pilgrims decided they needed to go on a cruise, but they couldn't drive a boat because their leader had a DUI and lost his license. So they found a skipper and a first mate with a funny hat to help them because they didn't really know much about boats anyway, except that they floated.
So the Skipper and the First Mate took them out all on the cruise, a really big one with a bunch of boats, like a regatta or something. Three hours later, they were playing shuffleboard and having drinks with Gopher and Doc on the Promenade Deck when they hit bad weather. All the other boats on the cruise, except the Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, Minnow, Edmund Fitzgerald and the Guadalupe sank...The Edmund Fitzgerald sank later at Pearl Harbor when it got bombed by the Germans...But they did picked up a chick floating on a trunk from one of the sunken boats. Her name was Rose. So anyway, they make it to America after the storm, but they didn't know where they were, so they stopped in at a convenience store and the store guy says, 'You're in Plymouth" and the Pilgrim says, 'No, I drive a Nissan, Bro!"' So they named the place Pilgrimland and built a clubhouse, which was cool because they had water slides.
So, that was when The Pilgrims met the Indians, at the 7-11, you know, when they asked where they were, and the Indian guy told them, and they became friends and the one Indian guy, his name was Karan, he says, "The Great Turkey will be coming tonight!" and the Pilgrims decorated the clubhouse and made cookies and knitted mittens and other stuff. So they all waited for the Great Turkey and drank eggnog and Captain Morgan.
So later that night, he shows up in a carriage made out of a pumpkin that was pulled by three blind mice and a Raccoon named Rusty. Wearing his red cape, the Great Turkey walks into the club house and jumps up on the table and pushes his viking helmet back, opening his velvet bag and pulling out pies, stuffing, mashed potatoes and a huge turkey with gravy and sets the table so they can eat. He also left everyone presents, fireworks, tequila and hid eggs around the clubhouse for them to find later. He table danced for a few minutes, but the Pilgrims didn't have any money because they spent it at the 7-11 with Karan, and so he jumped back in his pumpkin and says "Gobble, gobble, gobble!" and takes off. They all ran outside to wave goodbye and then they went to play football, but they didn't have a football so they had to use a baby, but it was okay because they just played touch football...And tag, they played freeze tag, too, mostly because it was really cold outside and they had no choice. Later, they drank all the tequila and it made them all get into fights, and that is why relatives still celebrate today by fighting on Thanksgiving during football! Every year since then, people have waited for the Great Turkey to come and bring gifts and hide eggs. The end"...
Winter Hawk sits down now and claps wildly again as he laughs wide-eyed to himself. "Whistle, click, click!!!"
We just sit there, dumbfounded. We stare at him, then at each other, then back at him.
"That most crazy story ever. That not happen" said Crazy Elk finally, throwing wood on the fire.
Winter Hawk stops laughing and looks over the fire at him. "Whistle, lip pop, click" he said.
"No, it is not true. you just dumb, like Beaver dumb." says Crazy Elk, poking the fire with a stick.
Winter Hawk grins as he pulls his knife out slowly. "Click...click...whistle.."
In an instant, they are at it again, rolling around in the dirt. "Big Bear! He trying to scalp me again!...Big Bear!"
Needless to say, after pulling Winter Hawk off Crazy Elk, again, we decorated the camp, with pine cones, leaves and what we could find. Winter Hawk just chirps around with glee. Needless to say, we now "anxiously" await The Great Turkey.
Hey, we do that, or sleep with one eye open so Winter Hawk doesn't scalp us in our sleep.
Who knows, maybe, just maybe, The Great Turkey will show...